On changing, becoming, and being

People often follow advice from others to the T, but sometimes, the best choices come internally.

I sit here sitting at 9 o’clock in the morning while my kids are still thankfully asleep.

I know it’s not theoretically sound to be posting on blogs anymore if we want discovery towards our online business but somehow it feels very aligned to be here. I’ve always written (since 2006, officially, I guess) and blogged about things that are happening in my life but not so much about “business.”

Perhaps it’s because I haven’t considered myself as someone who had a business before. Things have changed and things feel like they’re getting better and better all the time. I’m literally having goosebumps just writing that out.

The change

Maybe I missed the nostalgia of blogging.

Maybe it’s the growth that I’ve experienced from singlehood to parenthood to being a married person.

Maybe I’m just being a millennial in a Gen Z world.

No matter what it is though, things are changing… fast.

It sometimes feels challenging to keep up but I think the question could be, What are we trying to keep up with?

Is it life? Technology? Society?

And who said it was necessary to always keep up? As if we are always behind. As if we could never lead the way ourselves? I don’t mean to sound arrogant nor entitled. It’s just that I’ve grown tired of the narrative that there’s always something we should be on top of.

If anything, I think the mere knowledge and awareness of what’s happening means we’re already “kept up.”

And what we could do instead is… pave our own freaking path.

In business, it becomes even more complicated because businesses “need” to keep up with current trends. Businesses “need” to adapt. Businesses “need” to keep evolving.

Yes, I think those are all true.

AND it is also true that some businesses are one-person businesses on purpose. Solopreneurs.

Solopreneurs depend on the person and the person depends on who or what exactly?

Sustainability, energy, resources, capacity, nuances, the space and kindness to be human in fast-paced world.

I believe this change that I’ve been feeling is about all that and more.

I’ve always thought of myself as a bit timid, not too shy, but not too out there either.

I always played it safe just in case.

But playing it safe kept me small and hindered me from becoming…

The becoming

There’s a version of ourselves that’s waiting to arrive. I think Brianna Wiest says that best in her books (yes, I’ve read them too). She talks about arrival so beautifully and eloquently.

There was always something bigger in you that is waiting to be seen, acknowledged… recognised. Realised.

How exciting to uncover, discover, or re-discover that, right?

I’ve been tuning in to a lot of spiritual and neuroscience content lately and one thing seems to be the theme: our desired reality is already right in our midst. Realising it is a matter of observing and actually creating.

So here I am. Back to the version of creating that I’ve always loved but somehow keep forgetting. (It’s ironic, ikr.)

And choosing to be instead of “do.”

On top of being a parent, there are so many things I wanted to do that I almost never gave myself the chance to be first.

The being

Identity is important, yet it’s something we often overlook.

I’ve run into the same dilemma myself.

If this is you, too, it’s not that it’s our fault entirely. When a large group of people called “content creators” constantly show up saying you have to do things to achieve results, it’s easy to get swayed and think we just need to do what they did and then we’ll be successful.

Turns out that’s not always the case and it’s not very sustainable.

Being the person you want to become is exactly that: being.

It’s not hoping or doing things that can get you there in the long run. It’s embodying the version of you who has what you’ve always been dreaming of. It sounds a bit woo-woo (or a lot woo-woo) but it’s actually more sustainable than copying actions taken by others (unless the same actions feel aligned to you too).

So we are here.

What if it was already done?

What if we had what we wanted?

Does it or will it feel safe?

I think the answers to those questions are part of the process of embodying your “dream” self and reality.

People often talk about being an “energetic match to your desires.” That sounds very good when you think about it… but the thing is, it’s not just the thinking but the feeling.

In conclusion

Most trajectories in realising goals or desires is usually to do, to have, and then to be. But I believe it starts with being, doing, and having.

When we start with being first, we almost immediately have that the opportunity to shift our perspective to something different… maybe something more expansive.

Then, we start moving from there. Then somehow, we end up having what we want or something better.

Amanda Frances, from a 21-day program she’s running, just talked about it today: the tree doesn’t worry about the fruit. The fruit just grows from it.

What if we just took care of the tree? How much fruit would come from it knowing it has time and space to grow and to bear instead of constantly obsessing about what kind of fruit or how many fruits will come out of it?